Ten things I've learned after 6 months on Twitter

Ten things I've learned after 6 months on Twitter
By Prayaag Akbar
(In The Sunday Guardian, 2nd January 2011)
Follow Prayaag Akbar on http://twitter.com/unessentialist

10. There are many, many clever, talented people in India. Almost all of them are on Twitter.

9. India has a lot of right-wing-religious-nut-jobs who use this forum to attack reasonable people. They also attack Deepak Chopra.

8. Approximately 125% of South India is on Twitter. They seem to think all North Indians are called Amit.

7. As Joel Stein can confirm, there is no force in Nature as powerful as a seriously outraged Indian sat at a keyboard.

6. The number of sexually charged Indians rampaging around Twitter can make it seem like a Nymphomaniac's Convention. National Unity: a girl sitting in Mumbai tweeting one sex joke a day wreaks havoc on tissue supplies in Bhopal, Shillong, Kottayam and Kashmir.

5. Great overtures towards Indo-Pak peace are made everyday (most of it involves heavy flirting). Kashmir is the hottest non-topic everyday between these folk.

4. People expect ridiculous things of celebrities. Some loon asks Amitabh Bachchan to sort out water logging in Mumbai. Newsflash: He is not a BMC plumber.

3. Your follower count is like your bank balance. And Twitter celebs are like real world celebs. They won't talk to you unless you've got some money in the bank.

2. Indians love famous people. But we hate them even more.

1. And Shashi Tharoor and Lalit Modi have one more thing in common: they both seem to have nothing to say unless it is about themselves.